


Eyeliner

by thesunflowerchild



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Feminization, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, kind of??, lots of explicit language, possible trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:34:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22830304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesunflowerchild/pseuds/thesunflowerchild
Summary: The more he stared, the more he loved it.He immediately missed it as the black ran down his cheeks in the shower.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	Eyeliner

**Author's Note:**

> i was reading a book (i can't remember what it was called or anything about it, really) and there was a scene where a character worried about putting on makeup because of what his friends and family would say, and my brain went "donghyuck!" and this story was born
> 
> if i could remember what the book was called i'd recommend it but i must have short term memory loss or something because i can't remember oof
> 
> things:  
> ~ POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING: HOMOPHOBIA/IMPLIED ABUSE  
> ~ i think that's it
> 
> comment your thoughts (100% honest, as always) or tell me what you think over on my [twt](https://twitter.com/thesunniechild)!
> 
> enjoy and thanks for reading uwu

Donghyuck held the smooth pencil up to his face, examining it while the voices from yesterday flew around his brain.

  
  


_“This eyeliner,” his mother explained to the girl at the table. “I show you.” She gestured to him, and he obediently came closer._

_With a wave of a hand, Donghyuck knelt down for his mother, and then that hand was resting ever so lightly on the top of his cheek. He felt the pencil drawing on his closed eyelids, and after a final smudge of her finger, Donghuck’s mother was patting his head, “good boy for mama,” and he internally groaned as he stood up._

_“This eyeliner.” She said proudly. The girl oohed and nodded yes, her eyes huge. His mother turned to him, “Hyuckie thank,” and bowed slightly, sending him off._

_Donghyuck ran up the stairs to his room, desperate to see how he looked. Glancing in the mirror, he gasped, hand coming up to touch that unfamiliar yet so beautiful face._

_The smudged out black substance lining his eyes made the rest of his face soften, his eyes more noticeable, his lips pinker, his hair warmer brown._

_The more he stared, the more he loved it._

_He immediately missed it as the black ran down his cheeks in the shower._

  
  


And now, here he was, in the same mirror, ten minutes before he had to leave for school.

_Do it,_ he thought, his hands trembling, though the heat was on full blast in his home. _Show them who you really are._

“Fuck it,” he muttered, carefully dragging the soft pencil along his lash line. 

Immediately, he felt better, staring at the soft reflection looking back at him. He felt like himself - like Lee Donghuyck.

Confidence brimming over, he trotted down the stairs smiling wide.

“Wipe that stupid smile off your face and come eat breakfast, Hyuck. You’re gonna be late to school,” the man grumbled.

Donghyuck looked down, avoiding eye contact with him as he grabbed an apple. He was almost out the door when-

“Turn around, young man.”

He froze, squeezing those smudged eyes closed.

“Hyuck.”

He turned, onyx pointed down.

“Look at me.”

“I said look at me, damn it!”

Those beautiful, khol-laden eyes of terror met cold, hard ones.

“What’s on your eyes?”

The floor was cracked linoleum, white squares, black ovals, gold flecks.

“I said, what the fuck is on your eyes?”

Confidence slipping, feeling fat and ugly, “eyeliner,” he whispered.

“Say that again, loud and clear.”

“Eyeliner! It’s eyeliner!” He yelled, and red ran to perch just atop those high cheekbones, lounge across a graceful nose.

“And do you want to tell me just why you have fucking makeup on your fucking face?”

Confidence plummeting nose-first into the ground. _Mayday, mayday…_

“Donghyuck!”

“I like it!” Arms wrapped protectively around his own chest. “It makes me feel pretty,” he whispered. “It makes me feel like me,” so soft, barely audible.

“Oh, so you mean it makes you look like a fag?” He slammed his fists on the table, making both the dishes and Donghyuck jump, and the cry of protest died in the boy’s throat. “I didn’t raise my son to be a fucking fag!” He roared. “God-fucking-damnit, Donghyuck!”

Outside, a stone wall, inside, the last leaf of fall trembling in the frigid winter wind.

“Please stop,” he used the last bit of air in his lungs. Donghyuck couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t think, feel, hear - but at the same time… he thought, felt, heard…

“Get out of my house, you pansy, you fucking fairy! If you’re not a man, you’re not my son!”

The sound of the wooden door slamming shut behind him - so hard the windows shook - echoed so deep into his chest.

He turned and walked down the street - in the opposite direction from school.

And Donghyuck immediately missed the black as it ran down his cheeks, mixed with his tears.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos & comments = me happy  
> me happy = me want to write more  
> me write more = you happy  
> you happy = kudos & comments
> 
> repeat :)


End file.
